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Retirement Reflections
Sharing resident stories from Canterfield
Hosted by: Lee Martin & Carol Giusty (Juice-tea)
Produced by: Patric E.K. Bundrum
Music by: Parkcore
Retirement Reflections
Gardens and God
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Carol and Lee speak with one of their dear friends, Dot Darden, about her faith, gardening skills, and tea parties!
Welcome to Retirement Reflections Podcast, coming to you from the library of Canterfield of Kinnesaw Independent Living. My name is Lee Martin. I'll be your co-host along with Carol Juicy. Our podcast producer is Patrick Bundram, who will oversee the entire life cycle of this podcast, which simply means if something goes wrong, it's going to be her fault. We're so glad that we're here today. We have one of our favorite people. You would like to introduce her?
SPEAKER_02Dot?
SPEAKER_01I'm going to introduce you.
SPEAKER_02Can you hear me? I can. Okay. Dot. And what is your last name? Darden. Darden. And Dot Garden is one of our very special ladies here at Canterfield. She's very active in leading Bible studies. She's active in participating in exercise and participating in almost anything that we do. Dot, we're happy to have you here.
SPEAKER_03Thank you, and I'm glad to be a part of this.
SPEAKER_01Okay. Lee, it's your turn. What we try to do here is we operate on kind of a, it's not official, but a kind of an informal idea that life is in three phases. One is that our childhood and youth is for fun and play. Our adult life is for work. And when we become senior adults, that's more for uh the God part of our life. Now, I don't agree with that because I think in all three levels, there's all of that. There's a little bit of play in all of us, and there's some work and of course a relationship with God. And I think the place we want to start with you, Dot, is to just kind of tell us a little bit about yourself, like maybe where you were born, something about your family, school. Just air all the dirty laundry. We love that.
SPEAKER_03Okay. Well, I was born in Thomaston, Georgia. It's a little small town in Middle Georgia. Uh on December 25th, 1934.
SPEAKER_01Christmas.
SPEAKER_03Christmas Day.
SPEAKER_01Oh goodness.
SPEAKER_03And my grandmother's house in her living room is where I was born. Then they didn't have hospitals, and this the doctor had to come to the house, you know, to do that. So they did, and we had Christmas lunch there every year, forever. And my birth delayed lunch about an hour and a half. And we still had lunch that day after I was born, and my uncle liked to kid me about it because he was getting hungry. So that was a special day for me, and has been ever since.
SPEAKER_01Brothers and sisters?
SPEAKER_03I have one brother and one sister. I did. They're both deceased now.
SPEAKER_01Were you the youngest?
SPEAKER_03I was the eldest.
SPEAKER_01Oldest? Okay. Is it proper for me to ask how young you are?
SPEAKER_0391. 91.
SPEAKER_0191. I was going to look up how many people we have here that are in their 90s. We have a lot of folks. So what was school like?
SPEAKER_03I went to Bend Hill Elementary, The Rock Middle School, and Robert E. Lee High School. I played basketball on the girls' basketball team at in high school. Was in the uh Glee Club and a few of the social blubs. Went off to college at Piedmont Hospital to become an RN by the invitation of a classmate. I didn't know what I wanted to do or what I should do, you know, and after getting out of high school. And she said, Well, why don't you come and go with me for an interview? I'm going to Atlanta and interview at the hospital. Just see what you might think about it. So I took her up on it because I didn't know anything else to do. Anyway, that all worked out and got my three-year degree in being an RN.
SPEAKER_02And was there any specific type of nursing that you did?
SPEAKER_03Emergency or to start with, I did some one-on-one private duty. Did that. I worked at worked in the hospital for a while. And then went to work for three pediatricians in Atlanta and had that job. And from that I went to work for Avon Products. Avon. Avon Products. I was an occupational health nurse. It's a big company, and everybody knows who Avon is. And that was a wonderful time in my life. 24 years there. Wow.
SPEAKER_02You know, could you give me an example of what that type of nursing would have been?
SPEAKER_03Well, we had around 300 employees in the plant there. It was an assembly line type place. And somebody was getting hurt a lot, you know, every once in a while, scratches, bruises, mashed feet, mashed toes, you know, things like that. And I was there to take care of those. And then the big part of my job was I was ahead of the employee assistance program, which sent people out to the professional person they needed, if it were physical, if it were emotional, uh anything like that. I was kind of the person to send them out to get help, a few uh alcoholics that we had there, and they were working alcoholics, but you know, causing problems in the work part. So I would help them, I'd go with them, you know, to the programs and get them started and just follow them.
SPEAKER_02It really sounds very interesting. Do they have that type of nursing now? They do.
SPEAKER_03It really I worked at places like General Motors, Delta Airlines, Container Corporation part-time before I took my full-time job at Avon. And they, as far as I know, Rich's department store. I worked there for a while. So as a nurse. As a nurse.
SPEAKER_01As a nurse.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. At Rich's at Rich's department store. Wow. Yeah, we had a doctor on duty there that delivered a baby one day. Is that right?
SPEAKER_01A lot of industries have realized that not only the nursing needs, but some of them even have chaplains.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01That have full-time industrial chaplains. Basically, it's counseling. I mean, some will have a worship service, but very few have that. There's usually just one-on-one counseling time. Let's fast forward a little bit to your immediate family. You have children?
SPEAKER_03I have three children: a daughter, Kathy, two sons, Bill and Scott.
SPEAKER_01They live in this area?
SPEAKER_03No, my Kathy does. She's the only one that lives in this area. My son Scott lives in North Carolina, and my son Bill lives in between California and Augusta. He's a golfer.
SPEAKER_01Oh, really?
SPEAKER_03He goes from one place to the other when golf season is over. That's his life. He's retired now.
SPEAKER_01So you ever played golf?
SPEAKER_03Me?
SPEAKER_01Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_03A little bit. I enjoyed it, but I couldn't afford to play when I was learning. Cost too much. I didn't have that kind of money to spend.
SPEAKER_01What about grandchildren?
SPEAKER_03Oh, I have eight grandchildren and three great-grands.
SPEAKER_01Oh my goodness.
SPEAKER_03Now we're having more fun with the great-grands. She's two and a half.
SPEAKER_01Well, what brought you to Canterfield?
SPEAKER_03Well, the Lord did. That's exactly how I got here. I was not having any intentions whatever of going anywhere but my house until I died. And one day I was driving around and I just got the um inclination to stop by a place kind of like this as assisted living. And I thought, well, I wonder what that's like. So I just thought, well, I'll just, I'll just stop and go and see out of curiosity only. And when I interviewed with a lady, she said, well, you don't need assisted living, you need independent living. And I had have a friend that, you know, works at one of those. Would you like her number? I said, well, I guess so. So I took the number down in the name, and it was uh Stephanie. And so I didn't rush over here, but I thought, well, I'll drive by and see what it's like. I did, and I wasn't real impressed because I wanted more ground around me than I could see here. And it was like the Lord said, you're not giving them a chance, you need to go in and talk to them. So I did. And then after that discussion, he just impressed me that he wanted me to come here and start a Bible study. That's what I got from him.
SPEAKER_01Do you think your faith plays a big role in your life? Absolutely. When did you become a Christian?
SPEAKER_03When I was 14 years old.
SPEAKER_0114 years old.
SPEAKER_03In my own church. So the revival or no, the Lord's always given me a one close friend at a time, all of my life. I can just count them. And this was a close friend, and we've been in church all of our lives. And I'd felt the tugging of the Holy Spirit, didn't really know what it was, and you know, but just felt something inside of me. And I I didn't want to go forward by myself. I was afraid I'd cry. I wouldn't know what the preacher wanted to know and that I wouldn't say the right thing. So I put it off. And then one Sunday she says, Dorothy, I was Dorothy to them. I'm going forward today. You want to go with me? And I said, Yes. And so we walked down the aisle together. And that's what started all of that. And I was beginning to learn as a Christian. We had a wonderful pastor that taught well, and I listened to him and had a great Sunday school teacher that had let me know later in life how she prayed for me to become a Christian. And God answered that prayer. And, you know, going off to school and getting with a new group of people and all, I wandered away, you know, from the way I knew to do and was tested and failed the temptation, you know, several times. But God always brought me back and gave me a little talking to and got me on the right track.
SPEAKER_02Well, you were open to what he was whispering in your ear all along. And also, along with that, is that you have been open to a lot of other things too since you've been here in Canterfield. And one of them is your art you have taken a lot of art classes. Right. And what you do with your art classes is make greeting cards for your grandchildren. That's right. And your children. Right. How do they like your artwork?
SPEAKER_03Oh, they love it. They put it on their refrigerator. They do. Yeah, they do. They tell me that. So I do enjoy art and I'm hoping I can get better and better with it.
SPEAKER_02Well, you are getting better and better. Lee and I both are in the art room, and I've seen you grow as an artist. When you first started as an artist, you were very, very hesitant. And now I notice you come in and you sit down and you immediately find out what the project is for the day, and boom, you are off and running with it. And you don't even hesitate anymore.
SPEAKER_03Well, I'm not fearful anymore. You've helped me with that. Put down what's in your mind, and I'm trying to think what's up here and do something with it. And I know it doesn't have to be perfect. It doesn't have to be like my neighbor, you know, right next to me, anything. Just do it. And so that's kind of where I am with that, and I enjoy that.
SPEAKER_02I think you just said something. We don't have to be perfect. We are all in progress. And that's what I have always said is that I'm not perfect, and Lord knows I am not perfect, but I'm trying. And that's what we do.
SPEAKER_03He loves us anyway. Even with our imperfections.
SPEAKER_02With our imperfections.
SPEAKER_01There is another form of art that she's involved in, and that's outside in the garden. Oh, oh. When I first came here, I asked about the gardens. William said, Well, that one's dots, and uh that one's dots. And said, I think that one over there is dots.
SPEAKER_04That's right.
SPEAKER_01So you had you do a lot of gardening. Have you done that all your life? You like the gardening?
SPEAKER_03I watched my grandparents garden the old timey way with a mule and a plow, and I watched them do that, you know, and my grandmother and grandfather, and I liked it. My par my mother did the same thing, and they put us to work, you know, one would put the hole and one would put the plant in, and the other one would cover it up. That's how I got into gardening. And I've just always loved seeing the product from gardening. Fresh vegetables and flowers.
SPEAKER_01And you do year-round gardening, you know?
SPEAKER_03I do. I do some.
SPEAKER_01Well, I think, you know, the thing that we try to ask people that we interview, if you could go back sometime, you know, to your younger self, if there was anything that you could do differently that you could change, maybe it might have been gul or raising your family or your faith that way. Let's say my grandson, for instance, is 23, and he told me specifically, when you interview people, ask them how did they make decisions without worrying about the what-ifs in life. So if you could go back and say that to him or to yourself, what would you say? What would you change or do different or kind of advice would you give?
SPEAKER_03Well, I guess really turning it over to the Lord and doing what he wants me to do in my young adult or middle adult age, where I really knew that he cared enough about me to show me this and that and the other, and trust him, and really trust him.
SPEAKER_04Trust him, yeah, I've tried to do that.
SPEAKER_03And that's um that's my life now, you know, more than ever. And I would like to have done that at an earlier age and started living it in his hands more than me trying to do it and fix it and that kind of thing. So he's taught me to get uh away from self and depend on him.
SPEAKER_01We kind of touched on music, I think, but you used to sing or I still occasionally sing in a music group, senior adult music group. Tell us about that.
SPEAKER_03We go to nursing homes and sing to the patients there. Just a group of older people get together and go and and minister to the old folks in the nursing home.
SPEAKER_01Give a plug and tell us their name.
SPEAKER_03Sweet Sweet Spirit.
SPEAKER_01Sweet Spirit Singers.
SPEAKER_03Sweet Spirit singers, that's right.
SPEAKER_01They've been here a few times. Yeah, we know them. Right. And they they admit they know you too.
SPEAKER_03Oh yeah. Well, I'd love to go every week like I used to, but I don't have transportation to do that now. So the lady that plays the piano on Sunday comes and picks me up every other Tuesday even and uh takes me because she plays the piano for them.
SPEAKER_01Well, since you brought that up, and what does the Sunday and all three of us go to the Sunday morning services here, but what what does that mean to you to have that opportunity? We know you lead a Bible study, what on Mondays for the Thursday. On Thursdays now, okay. But then we have the worship service on on Sunday morning. Is tell us about that from your perspective.
SPEAKER_03Well, I'm so grateful that we have it here for the folks and to have you as the pastor. You've done a wonderful job, and I love hearing you preach. And I'm still a little torn about between my home church that I've been in for 45 years, you know. That's where a lot of friends are and a lot of people that I know. And so I have to kind of go back and forth. And uh, if I'm not there, I'm here. And I love it. I love the way you do it. You preach and you let us sing hymns. I really enjoy that. And at my church, they become a little more contemporary and some changes have come. But so many friends there that I still enjoy seeing ex-Sunday school teachers and the pastor.
SPEAKER_02God, I'm a great one for changing the subject, okay?
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_02In the middle of everything, I suddenly come up with something in my mind. But one thing that came up in my mind is you had a very difficult time giving up driving.
SPEAKER_03Who did I ever? And that's the hardest decision I think I've ever had to make.
SPEAKER_02Well, you and I have talked about it, and I can understand because every now and then my sons decide is it time for mom to give up her car? Yeah. And I'll hang on to that car as long as I can. Even if all I do is drive three blocks down to public. But you did give it up, and that's giving up freedom, isn't it?
SPEAKER_03It is. Your last little bit.
SPEAKER_02Your last little bit of freedom.
SPEAKER_03I had a little accident after I came here in my car, and it didn't hit me. I didn't hit anybody anything, but it damaged the radiator just enough for it to be total. Okay. Or I would still be driving that car to today. Well, I had to give it up, and then I I bought another used car that somebody told me about, and the insurance just went sky high.
SPEAKER_02Yes, it didn't.
SPEAKER_03And I could not afford the insurance anymore. I just couldn't and live here. So I had to give it up. And my son was thrilled to death that I gave it up. He was afraid I'd get out here and hit somebody, or somebody had hit me, and I've really missed that. It's been hard. But God has provided. I have to give him the credit. I have somebody that comes and picks me up and takes me to church at my other church, a young couple, and they seem to love doing it. It didn't seem to be an imposition to them. And I appreciate that so much. And then when yesterday I chose not to go because we had a funeral for my ex-pastor there, and I knew I'd be going up and downstairs and walking, and I chose to stay here and got a wonderful message from me. So I'm just so thankful that I've got choices, you know.
SPEAKER_02I still do it. But it's hard to give up that kind of. And I drive very carefully and probably a little bit more carefully. I'm the little old woman on the on the highway that is going the exact same speed that this sign tells me to. And everybody's honking at me to move faster.
SPEAKER_01So just think if you lived in Pasadena, you could be the little old lady from Pasadena. Pasadena.
SPEAKER_03Well, I miss it because it gives you such independence. If I decide I want to cook something and don't have all the ingredients, I just go get in my car and go across the street and I'm fine.
SPEAKER_02Well, I think you're bringing up one other thing. Another subject. Yes, you do. Yep. You want to take it.
SPEAKER_01Now about cooking. You do a lot of cooking. The other day, she gave at somebody a jar of figs. Fig preserves. Figs. Figs. Figs.
SPEAKER_03I don't know. You could make preserves out of figs.
SPEAKER_02I have, I didn't know, I don't even know what a fig looks like.
SPEAKER_03Oh, it's a fruit. It's a very tasty fruit.
SPEAKER_01It looks like an odd-shaped grape. When we lived in Powder Springs, we had a big fig tree.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Ugly. It was all gnarly looking.
SPEAKER_03And the bees love it. I had to fight the bees to pick these figs off the tree.
SPEAKER_01Now, when we first came here, if I remember right, you were having meals for new people. You would that's kind of your way of. Okay, a tea party. Yeah, that's how you that's how you met folks.
SPEAKER_03That's right.
SPEAKER_01But had are you still doing that?
SPEAKER_03No, because the attendance just got really low, and I was making desserts, you know, to feed them when they'd come, and I'd have to throw a lot of food away. So I decided, you know, maybe people were tired because we got more things going on here, you know, more options. And so I decided not to and to do that anymore every week. And I'd still, you know, enjoy doing it probably once a month. And William and I have I've talked about that because it's just fun to get around the table and eat a little something and talk. You know, you s really get to know each other.
SPEAKER_02Well, we sure do at breakfast and lunch and dinner. There's a lot of conversations that go on.
SPEAKER_03And there's no time limit. You know, they could stay as long as they wanted to.
SPEAKER_02And it is. The dinner table is the place where people I'm hearing that the dinner table now is not necessarily where everybody gets around anymore. And people are losing that art of conversation. We haven't lost it here at Canterfield, I can tell you that. But we have also older people that that's what we used to do.
SPEAKER_03Well, I I found that by serving with the group here, I've gotten to know their families. Yes. And I've gotten to be really good friends with some, you know. In fact, this week, remember Gladys? Yes. Well, we became good friends. We ate at lunch every day. That's how I got to know them. And then I got to know her two daughters. One lived in Pennsylvania and one here. And as I visited her and they'd come, you know, we just developed a real good friendship. And they were knocking at my door with a big bouquet of flowers and a package of cookies. Oh. Just sleep, you know, and and I that's dear to me, you know, that kind of relationship. You know, I So it grows, you know. It does grow.
SPEAKER_02You're speaking of cookies, and I used to bake chocolate chip cookies faithfully for my family. And as I've gotten to be the age that I am, I have stopped making cookies. However, I discovered Oreo cookies, double stuffed, and I love them. So I keep them in my cookie jar, and I kind of remember in the past of the old-fashioned home-baked cookies, but boy, those Oreos are pretty good.
SPEAKER_03Were they called tea cakes?
SPEAKER_02No, they were just chocolate chip cookies in my cookie jar. Oh, okay. But I admired it. Oh, Dot, you are a good cook. So the Oreo cookies, do you eat the middle first? I no, you do not eat the middle first.
SPEAKER_01I well, listen, let's close with a commercial. Oh there was an Oreo commercial that said a kid'll eat the middle of an Oreo first and leave the chocolate cookies outside for last. Matter of fact, it actually went Oreo Oreo. Oreo. How do you eat an Oreo? Kid will eat the middle of an Oreo first and leave the chocolate cookie outside for last. Well, they make the best ones here too. Which is probably a good place to finish this uh episode today. Carol, unless you've got something else that you want to bring up.
SPEAKER_02All I want to ask, did you feel comfortable sharing your life with us?
SPEAKER_03Absolutely. Absolutely. I don't have any secrets and no, but I'm sure good.
SPEAKER_02You were a little nervous coming here today.
SPEAKER_03I just wanted it to be all that I needed it to be and prayed and asked for that, and I got it. Thank you. Well, thank you.
SPEAKER_01Well, then we'll just simply say goodbye, Carol.
SPEAKER_02Okay, goodbye, Lee. Goodbye. Thank you. Thank you for your input.
SPEAKER_01See you later.
SPEAKER_02And goodbye, Patrick.
SPEAKER_00And Patrick. Absolutely. Hey there. Producer Patrick Bundram here. We now have a new exciting feature where you can send fan mail on our website. Access the message board on BuzzSprout by clicking the fan mail link on any episode. We appreciate your continued support, and we'll be back next week. As always, retirement reflections does not claim to give any advice, and the personal beliefs of hosts and guests do not necessarily reflect the Canterfield community official policies. Thank you again for joining us.